6000onions

Friends

Posted on July 27, 2026 by mygothlaundry

I am writing this on my phone because I have horrible time management skills – I’m too goddamn busy being amazing to get things done, thank you very much – but anyway, the week in review:

Monday, I thought i was dying and ended up in the ER. Turns out I was not dying but instead having a costichondritis flare up – this is my diagnosis, they have no idea – but they kept me all day and did a very nasty test on me before I was released. I have more to bore you with about this but not tonight. Enjoy my exciting ER collage. The veggie burger was very good.

Tuesday, I saw this somewhat ominous, all things considered, graffiti at the sawmill trail. Wednesday, we went to the Clatsop County Fair! Five ran into an extremely fearless friend and they rode rides as if they’d been going to carnivals their whole lives. And we saw the pigs and an enormous cow and Five had a very expensive pony ride. Good times! Thursday, I had to work at a late meeting in Seaside and this is the somewhat surreal moon from the parking lot of the grocery outlet. Friday, I was back at the fair, working as a friendly representative of the college where I work, and Saturday, an old friend showed up and of course, I had to take him to see the Peter Iredale.

It was great to see my friend and be reminded of the glory days of Asheville in the early to mid 00s. He is traveling the country, visiting what he calls the Asheville Diaspora, lol, there are so many of us, spread everywhere. It was great for Five to have a carnival friend. Its all made me think about friends, and being social. In remembering when I used to have a life, I seem to have unlocked a little happiness. I think I was like a Sim with a low social: standing and sobbing in the kitchen. 30ish hours of hanging out later, I feel weirdly better. More human, maybe, and less like the world’s most antisocial introverted alien.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged photoaday, aging, asheville, daily-life, friendship | Leave a comment

Conference

Posted on July 20, 2026 by mygothlaundry

Last week, I actually went out of town. I drove 6 hours (Google will tell you it is four and a half hours: Google lies. Also I like back roads better than I-5.) to a conference outside Elkton, Oregon. The conference was, well, I have thoughts. There were really good parts and there were parts I was less enamored of: so it goes. It was a womens conference for leadership development in community colleges. Being as how I am old and crotchety and essentially uninterested in growing my career at this point, I was probably not really the right person to go. But I needed a break and I got one, even if it was way more intense than I thought it would be. I was hoping for more time sitting around by the river and less time making questionable group art projects based on values. Oh well! Everyone was very nice and I even kinda sorta made some friends. I was forced to think about my Goals, which, at this point in my life focus less on being my best self and more on just plain surviving the coming various apocalypses.

It was held at the Big K Guest Ranch, which is an actual ranch but with guest cabins. It’s gorgeous and right by the Umpqua River and apparently a world class trout fishing destination, which begs the question, why then is the food so extremely Sysco in nature? But perhaps that was just for the conference or perhaps it reflects the reality that this place is seriously remote. It’s a winding twenty minutes up a dirt road to get there and that’s after you have been driving some time on twisty two lane paved roads. There are cows. There are hay bales. There are deer, although I am jaded on deer. There were turkey vultures and a glorious osprey and the morning light was golden on the fields. The weather was amazing: hot and clear in the daytime and cool and clear at night. So maybe, actually, it really was a break. There are a couple more photos on Instagram. My insta is private now because 2026; if you don’t already follow me, shoot me a message and I’ll approve you.

It was good that I was gone, anyway, because apparently all hell broke loose here. My son had a serious bout of food poisoning – not cryptosporidia but actually somewhat worse – and ended up on antibiotics, spending the week, as best as I can tell, lying sadly on the couch groaning, and that was the good part. My brother was cranky that I was not here. The dog did not get walked; the cat took up a fun new hobby of chewing the internet where it comes through the wall. And, as if a new kitten was not enough, my daughter’s ex mother in law showed up with little warning: always a good time when you’re trying to plan a big party. Why a big party? Because she who was Four is now FIVE. I missed it. I was at the conference on the actual birthday and I couldn’t even call, because my phone didn’t work there. Several great books, however, and a deck of Go Fish cards are now in Five’s possession. Honestly I do not think she cared much.

So! Last week was mostly away, different latitudes, a rented car, new people, new horizons. On Monday, I drove all morning. I was two and a half hours late but I got there, frazzled and exhausted though I was. The road from Astoria to Elkton starts with mountains then winds through vineyards and more vineyards and farms and then changes again to different mountains and streams. Observe a representative farm shot from the agrarian valley part. On Tuesday, I was fully ensconced and this was the evening view from the not-campfire where we sat each evening around an empty fire ring and drank wine (it’s Oregon; it’s July; there’s a burn ban.) Wednesday, down at the Umpqua River with some fellow conferencees. The river was lovely and there were lots of tiny fish. If you go, bring water shoes and binoculars. On Thursday, the conference ended and this was the start of my six hour drive home. Friday, I was exhausted so here is a deer peeking around the house. Saturday here is Five clutching her Hello Kitty pinata; we were deep in party preparations and Sunday, here are my TWO gluten free cakes: one regular cake and 20 cupcakes, two distinctly different recipes, everything completely from scratch and both quite tasty. That was six hours of baking, which seems to be the theme for last week: six hours there and six hours back and six hours of baking, which brought me a new appreciation for the Great British, because if somebody had shouted Half An Hour! at me at any point on Sunday I would have brained them with a cast iron skillet.

Now it is Monday and it was FUCKING DIRE but I will tell you more about that next week when, hopefully, the memories have mostly faded.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged daily-life, life, oregon, photoaday, photography, travel | Leave a comment

Changes

Posted on July 12, 2026 by mygothlaundry

This coming Wednesday, Four will change into Five. It is a very exciting time and I’m sorry I will not be here: I am going to an actual professional conference. So next week’s gallery of photo of the day will be different! Not just the same old pelicans and ships, says the woman who lives in the most beautiful place in the world. I need to start packing, actually, because I have done absolutely eff all nothing towards getting myself ready to go except angst out a bit. It’s far away – a four and a half hour drive, says Google, which we all know means five and a half or six. I can’t leave until tomorrow morning because a) my work feels that if you can get there at the scheduled start time by leaving at 6 am or later you do not deserve a hotel room the night before and b) I’m renting a car so the family has my car while I’m gone and the rental place doesn’t open until 8 am Monday morning. And I’m going to have to share a room with a total stranger and honestly, I guess I am just going to start apologizing when I meet them and continue for four days, because I’m a terrible person to share a room with. I wake up at 4 am and don’t get back to sleep until 6 and I’m going to get out of bed at least once during those two hours. And I’m going to read. And I’m going to drink a glass of water. And there is nothing they can do about it, so, sorry in advance, soon to be roomie! I am so sorry!

This past week was, hmm, okay I guess? I already feel as if I can hardly remember it, so let’s look at the photos! Sunday was the day after the Fourth and I took exactly two photos, of which this terrible blurry image of the courtyard is one. The plants are coming in nicely though. Monday, I had to run a sample down to the hospital lab for my brother on my way to work and the hospital is under construction. I like the orange and the blue and the cloudy sky. Tuesday I took Harvey for a walk at the Fort Stevens historical area and these elk were on the side of the road in Hammond. Wednesday, this is what happens when you are walking fast around the track in the gym* and take a picture while you’re moving. Thursday and Friday we have little detail vignettes from the courtyard because my feet hurt, see Wednesday and the *. Observe my cucumber! And the headless Qin warrior who has been following me from house to house since the 90s when I worked at the Walters Art Museum in Baltimore. Saturday, which was yesterday, I actually managed to take Harvey to the beach early in the morning and . . .wait for it. . . take photographs of pelicans! Quelle shock!

And then, there is today. Today, my daughter and I went over to my colleague’s house (her daughter’s cat had kittens 8 weeks ago; when I heard that I knew it was a Sign and time for a Five to have a kitten) and picked up this small one. We brought them (we do not know the gender yet, that has to wait for the first trip to the vet next week) home to my daughter’s house where Soon To Be Five was overwhelmed with this surprise birthday gift. Sushi, we have decided, will be the wee one’s name, based on Mr. Binks’ old toy with the dangling sushi which immediately fascinated kitten. They are completely, as you see, adorable, and playful, and amazing and obviously a cat genius and we are all smitten. Welcome to the family, Sushi! We will do everything we can to keep you safely away from Mr. Binks!

* I was utterly dumb during gym class on Wednesday. We were supposed to walk fast around the track for 16 3/4 rotations, which is to say one mile, and I did it even though my feet and ankles were screaming in pain. Did I talk last week about my insertional Achilles tendinopathy? Yeah, it’s bad. And the creepy heel spurs? My feet are messed up. I now have expensive special ugly sneakers to wear but on Wednesday I didn’t have them yet so I stupidly just kept going in my tiny flat supportless hot pink skechers through the pain. Thus, after that I could hardly walk until like Thursday night. Why yes, I do identify as Gen X, why do you ask?

In other cat news Mr. Binks disappeared for 18 hours beginning Thursday evening and it turns out he was in the car the whole time. He must have climbed in through the open windows and fallen asleep; when I closed the windows Thursday night I didn’t see him. He did not pee or eat or drink in this time – thank the gods it was cool and dim and cloudy – but he seems to be perfectly fine. And he still wants to jump in the car given half a chance.

May this week bring us all the insouciance and grace of Mr. Binks strolling calmly out of the car after an ordeal without a care in the world and the determination of Sushi pulling a toy designed for much larger cats under Five’s bed!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cats, dailylife, life, photoaday | Leave a comment

Patriotism

Posted on July 5, 2026 by mygothlaundry

Another Fourth of July and Harvey the dog survived. I’m going to start with the photos because I have a lot of boring stuff to say about politics, so we will begin with the more interesting diary gallery part. On Sunday I walked Harvey over by Bumble, which is, hmmm, I have lived here long enough now where I could give a long soliloquy on what this is and what used to be there but! It’s in the neighborhood and it was raining. That’s Young’s Bay. On Monday we went for a walk on the sawmill trail and spotted this mama duck and her children. She was an extremely good mother and we were all impressed. Tuesday, here, have some slightly surreal backlit daisies growing out of the stone wall. Wednesday shows Mr. Binks being his theatrical photogenic self – I mean. I mean, is that not an amazing photo? Is he not just too much? He is too much. He’s also finally mostly tame. It only took 18 months. Thursday evening, and there were actually 6 deer in this herd in my front yard. People outside Astoria don’t quite grasp the scale of the deer issue here. We have deer like other people have, I don’t know, sparrows or something. And yes, they’re cute, but OMG they eat everything. Friday, July 3, I went clamming in the morning with my friend and got 8 clams which were all very delicious; Four and I cooked them up for dinner. Saturday and, hey baby, it’s the fourth of July.

And now, the political part. Yesterday was rough. I would not have described myself as a patriot, ever in my life. But watching Washington DC being dismantled by a complete fucking moron has gotten me in the feels, as the kids say. I mean, I am also beyond outraged at everything that has happened since January 2025, and granted the reflecting pool and the east wing of the White House and etc., is small potatoes compared to the utter and absolute destruction caused by, just to take two, dismantling Medicaid and offering up our public lands to the highest bidder, but somehow it makes me cry. The others make me fume in impotent rage and fire off faxes and emails to my representatives but, oh my god, DC. I’ve been to DC. I lived in Baltimore for years. I know the Smithsonian if not well then passingly. I went on an 8th grade class trip to DC like almost all east coast American kids of a certain age and we toured the White House. The travesty of what that creature, that idiotic tyrant, that would be Caligula of faux Christianity is doing to DC beggars the imagination.

I will say that some of it has been darkly hilarious. Bluesky has had some threads about the Freeeedome USA travesty on the mall that are fantastic, to say nothing of the incredible saga of the reflecting pool. I enjoy a good scandal as much as the rest of us. The reflecting pool is a gift that keeps on giving. But the arch and the state fair that was not, and the fireworks at midnight are less funny.

I cried about Jackie Kennedy’s rose garden, turned into a Mar A Lago style outdoor restaurant, jesus christ almighty, and the destruction of the First Ladies’ wing and then I nearly cried or threw up or both when the giant cage was installed for a fight on the White House lawn. It’s disgusting. The ballroom plans are disgusting. It’s horrifying and it’s somehow more graspable than the giant atrocities on an immediate human me scale. I mean, I remember the Bicentennial. I was 12. It was kind of great. Everything was red white and blue and there was no president’s name on anything. I decorated my bike with red white and blue crepe paper and we all rode in a parade. The tall ships went by and we could see them with Dad’s binoculars. I am absolutely beside myself that that experience was stolen from my children and your children and everyone’s children by a pedophile failed real estate tycoon with an IQ of 73* and a demon where his soul should be. Because he did steal it. He stole it and kept the money and lied and cheated and yet, he’s still in office instead of a penitentiary. In 1976 at least the American people had managed to send Nixon back to San Clemente. Not enough, but something. But here we are, the horrors mount, the desecration continues, the racism, the staggering corruption, the destruction of the country continues apace. Do you think voting blue no matter who will change any of that? Because if so I have a bridge to sell you.

Anyway, I woke up yesterday morning and I listened to this song and then I listened to this song and while I was listening to this song I cried, I actually cried. I do not, as a rule, cry. I am not a shedder of tears. I am an old Gen Xer (I’ll die on this hill, do not fuck with me on it) and I am made of spite and iron and Hostess Yodels. Almost everything and everyone I have ever loved has either been ripped away or fucked me over, or sometimes, on a good day, both. I hate this goddamn excuse for a racist piece of shit country full of murdering morons and at the same time I love the idea, the thought, the dream of a country where people might actually be equal. My fucking country is complicated but that does not mean I’m okay with the worst of the US stealing it. I’m ashamed that my family has been part of the worst of this country and I’m weirdly proud that my family has been here since the early 18th century. I can hate and love it at the same time: I contain multitudes. And I will tell you that all the multitudes and all my ancestors hate Donald Trump and his cronies and everyone associated with them with a white hot passion that will not cease. And we are also mourning for all that has been broken and lost forever. Those fucks. Those utter fucks. They stole the 4th of July.

* I know it’s been snopesed and I don’t care. He constantly says Low IQ individuals and I am done going high, I am ready to go low.

A blurry and terrible photo of the fireworks but even broken you know it’s still pretty damn beautiful. They haven’t taken it all yet.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged fireworks, photoaday, politics, US Politics | Leave a comment

Circles

Posted on June 28, 2026 by mygothlaundry

I will try to write more later, but this week I feel like I am just running in circles and getting nowhere. SO! At least the photos are up! Sunday is an out the car window shot of one of the many fireworks stands which are springing up everywhere even though anybody knows you should buy fireworks in Washington, which allows the fun deadly kind, not in our nanny state of Oregon. I wholeheartedly approve of the nanny state, by the way, but with fireworks, I don’t know, I don’t really see the point if it can’t fly up into the sky and kill you. I keep wondering if someone is sleeping in that trailer by the fireworks tent and if it is filled with fireworks and if so, I hope they’re being paid like a million dollars, because that shit is way too dangerous. Monday, have a selfie. I had to do one for the conference I’m attending in two weeks and I’m not displeased with this. Tuesday, a view from the college showing clouds creeping over Washington. Sometimes Washington just up and disappears altogether. A chancy place, Washington. Dangerous fireworks and a tendency to disappear. I dated a couple guys like that. On Wednesday, admire Harvey in his babushka mode. This is supposed to make the fireworks bearable. We shall see. Thursday, I confess: I did not take a single photo apparently and I do not know what happened. So have a lame picture of my office plant. I know I was at work all day spending quality time with this tradescantia, so, here. It could be any day. Friday I took both animals to the vet for checkups and shots and it was a hellish five hour ordeal only briefly lightened by the glorious fog and gray rain. Saturday was yesterday and on the way home from the dog walk I stopped to take, as is my wont, more photos of pelicans with the good camera. Pelicans! There was this flock of them on these pilings, which are this year’s migratory stop and then there was a whole flock of cormorants with one pelican out by the bridge. I guess that one just decided the cormorants were where it’s at, the hell with the boring other pelicans. Hopefully I’ll write more later.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged birds, family, life, photography | Leave a comment

Summer

Posted on June 21, 2026 by mygothlaundry

It is fully summer, even here on the Oregon coast, where some years (looking at YOU, 2025) we don’t even get a summer. This year is so extremely summer that I do not quite know what to do with myself, but I’m regretting my fully rational decision not to even try growing peppers and basil this year. This year, I could probably do it.

Summers are glorious for me because my workplace closes on Fridays in July and August. Thanks to Juneteenth and a sane PTO policy, I have added the last two Fridays in June to that already generous and wonderful list. Three day weekends! Three days! So I have started a little art project I’m calling the One Hour Painting, in which I am going to make at least one painting or print or piece of actual art every weekend in, you guessed it, One Hour. Well, actually, it could be longer I guess, but One Hour is the minimum and, knowing me, it will just be One Hour. This is a great idea and I already feel better than I have in a while, even though I drank 4 glasses of red wine on the phone with my Canadian friend yesterday and my digestive system is furious.

Here is my painting. It is the very first of a series I’ve been planning called 100 Views Of Saddle Mountain. By planning I mean it keeps running around my head and I think, oooh, I should do that, plus occasionally I take photos to use as references except then I lose them. I recognize that this is a hubristic take on Hokusai, who famously did 100 Views of Mt. Fuji, and none of mine are going to be even half as good as one of his, but! I too live near a volcanic mountain! Plus I don’t think anyone has ever done it on account of Saddle Mountain is just not that famous. So here is #1. We can but hope that they get better as we go along.

And now, the week, in which I really didn’t take any very good photos. Well, one. Maybe two. Some weeks are like that. On Sunday I stayed home and here’s a little collage of my messy bedroom on one side and my messy courtyard on the other. Monday we all went to the beach and here’s Four striding along with Harvey the dog. It was an awesome walk. Four has been going through a Thing where she had gotten a terrible fear of sneaker waves (this is mostly my fault, see February 22 although her mother says it has happened at least twice before) and has been refusing to go to the Beach. But she was very brave and stayed up at the high tide line* and a nice time was had by all. I like this photo a lot. Tuesday, this was so beautiful, the fog and the gillnetter and the still sky that I had to stop and try to take a picture on my way home. This photo is just okay. I wish it was better. Wednesday the palliative care nurse who comes to visit my brother every six weeks or so was here and after everybody left I made myself an egg sandwich before I went back to work. Thursday morning on the way to work we had to stop the car for this deer and twin fawns and then, eleven hours later on the way home from work, we had to do it again for the same little family. So these are two terrible phone photos jammed together. Friday, I finally got the whole courtyard settled and I love it so much. And yesterday, Saturday, I was mostly home and this is from quality time on the couch with Mr. Binks. I just discovered that there are several seasons of Downton Abbey I never bothered to watch because I got so fed up with everyone, so I’m trying that again. And that was last week, the week before the solstice, and here we are, midsummer!

* I like to walk the high tide line sometimes as a sort of meandering meditation, like a labyrinth only with seaweed. I recommend it!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged art, family, life, photography, writing | Leave a comment

Heat

Posted on June 14, 2026 by mygothlaundry

It is 86 degrees right now as I type this. That’s the sort of temperature that I would have scoffed at when I was still a Southerner: why it’s nothing. A bagatelle, a balmy summer day. I am not a Southerner any more: I am a Pacific Northwesterner and I am DYING. I am, however, wearing my fabulous caftan and drinking a pellegrino soda so, ok, I’m dying with STYLE. But, in my considered opinion, it’s too damn hot to do anything. I did things this morning. I went to Sunday market and walked about and then went to several downtown stores where my daughter chatted with her friends and I sort of stood about. It was hot. The stores were lovely. Unfortunately, I’m too old and too poor and I don’t, actually, need anything right now except red onions, medicare for all and a universal basic income. So I bought nothing except the two pieces of art I foolishly signed up for at the 8×8 show. I love these two pieces of art but I’m really broke right now and I did not, actually, intend to buy them. I was the first bidder and I thought I would start a bidding war. Alas for my wallet, I got them. They’re gorgeous and I had to use a credit card to buy them. Like most Americans, I am hemorrhaging money right now trying to live my usual extravagant lifestyle of, oh, keeping the lights on and going to the grocery store once in a while. That’s okay! There are gladiators at the White Supremacy House – the outrage, the shock, the offensiveness of everything just keeps on going but nothing stops – and I guess they need it more than we do! Even though they probably won’t get paid.

The week that was: On Monday it rained all day and here is the deer who, probably, ate my sunflowers and my cosmos. Bah. The hell with deer. On Tuesday the rain let up for long enough to go for a walk but the clouds were thunderous. And beautiful. On Wednesday it cleared up and we went for a walk on the sawmill trail and saw this bright modern ship. Thursday, Harvey was extremely comfortable while I was getting ready for work. Friday was commencement at the college where I work, always a lovely and slightly tearful occasion. They’re all so young! Saturday, which was yesterday, I took Four – who can write her name! – to Battery Russell and then when we came home there was this dragonfly in the garden. NOTE! I changed out the Wednesday photo for a much better Canon shot of the big modern ship.

On a darker note, there’s another protest today and I did not attend. I’m done, I think. I have stood around holding a sign in all kinds of weather for a year and a half this time and four years the last time and it has accomplished exactly fucking nothing. I get that building community is important and showing people that they are not alone is important and, well, I still have no community and I don’t think anyone thinks they are alone any more. They just think they are powerless and unfortunately, it sure looks like they’re right. Could we change this? Oh yes, yes we could. Will we? I doubt it. We’re full into the collapse of the United States and nobody seems motivated to do anything except occasionally stand on Marine Drive waving a sign and a flag around. This is how unimportant that is: the fascists are not even making lists. They’re not even bothering to counter protest. There’s nothing brave about protesting at this point: nobody cares. The fascists are just laughing at us, all the way to the bank.

While I’m editing, have an artsy shot from Saturday morning’s trip to Battery Russell.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged blog, heat, life, mental-health, photoaday, politics, weather | Leave a comment

Fear

Posted on June 8, 2026 by mygothlaundry

opened razor clams in a metal bowl — Sunday, May 31

an elk in a very green field, taken from the car and in the lower right corner is a side mirror very blue with a dog's head peering out the window — Sunday, May 31

I got busy yesterday – I got most of the courtyard planted and done, so I didn’t get to this blog. Here it is on a Monday instead! Let’s start right off with the week that was. On Sunday, as previously noted, I had clams courtesy of my clam diggin’ friend. They were delicious even though cooking them is always fraught because, eeeesh, I am not good at killing things. I’m not a vegetarian for my damn health, you know. Monday, here is Harvey looking interestedly at an inexplicably green elk. Harvey is, thank the gods, a perfect gentleman around deer and elk. On Tuesday, well, the next paragraph is going to be about Tuesday. This is the view from where I got my oil changed, though. On Wednesday I was in the college library conference room and this is the view from there. Thursday, osprey! Friday my daughter and granddaughter and I went out for a spontaneous very fancy and delicious dinner which we could in no way afford: no regrets. And it turns out that granddaughter loves clams and I love Negronis and all of us love Fede. This is the view from the pier. On Saturday, which is of course Caturday, Mr. Binks made his opinion known and on Sunday morning Harvey and I went to the beach for a lovely walk.

And now, let’s talk about Tuesday. This is the painting that is in the sonogram and procedure room, I guess you call it, at CMH. This is what I looked at while I had a sonogram two weeks ago that discovered a mass in my left breast. It is also what I looked at, or would have looked at except I had to lie in a way I couldn’t see it, while the very kind and competent and altogether lovely team did a sonogram guided needle biopsy in that mass last Tuesday. That was just as much fun as it sounds. They took four samples. Every time the needle takes a sample it makes a loud CLACK noise which they demonstrated beforehand but was still startling. It was not as painful as I thought it would be but it was not painless. Afterwards, I did not go to work. I went and got my daughter and we ate pastries at Blue Scorcher because for some reason I was starving all day afterwards. Fear, I guess. I have been in fear since the mammogram / sonogram that I had two weeks ago, the one where they found the mass. Then, in the afternoon, I went and got my car oil changed because that was overdue.

Because this is America, it cost me $100 to have the mammogram/sonogram. I have to always get a special mammogram with a sonogram because I have very dense breast tissue. Then, which felt a bit like adding insult to injury, it cost me $100 to get the biopsy. I have very good insurance which costs my employer quite a lot of money each month. Just in case you are lucky enough not to live here in the good old US of A and are foolishly considering it, consider that. I thought a lot, over the last two weeks, about how much it would cost if the results were positive (so weirdly backward, to say positive results for a negative outcome) and realized that it would probably ruin me. As in I would probably lose everything. Imagine that. What a great country.

But! It is all, I think, okay!! They called me on Saturday and the results were NEGATIVE! A positive outcome! I do not have breast cancer! They still want to do an MRI, because of the dense breast tissue and some weird ass symptoms I have been having, but I might not do it. I haven’t decided yet. Neither has my insurance, so this may be out of my hands anyway. And here we are. I get to live and not, hopefully, go bankrupt due to medical bills AGAIN, or at least not right now. And also Mr. Binks went missing for 30 hours and came home, which was also a huge and enormous relief. I love that rotten cat. And, I have said the word BOOB and BOOBS so much recently that I feel rather strange. It turns out that boob is the preferred nomenclature in the breast cancer world, which makes sense because breast is so formal and what are you going to say anyway? Tits? Bazongas? Boobs it is and yes, my boob hurt and then it didn’t and now I am just waiting for the steri strips that mark the x over the incision to fall off. Did you know that after every surgery, including a biopsy, they leave a little tiny piece of metal in you to alert future radiographers? Neither did I, but now I have two: one where my gall bladder used to be and one to say, no cancer here! It’s all okay!

And the courtyard looks pretty good. It will look even better in a month.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aging, biopsy, breast cancer, cancer, dailylife, Health, life, photoaday | Leave a comment

Film Interlude

Posted on June 2, 2026 by mygothlaundry

a black and white photo of a huge tripod holding up a buoy; it is low tide and the whole thing is visible

2 black and white photos of a wooden walkway on piers in the water with a railroad track alongside

Black and white Ilford HP5 from the beloved half frame Chaika II which has clearly developed some kind of scrapey thing at the end of the roll, leaving a thin line across the top of the frame in a lot of these. That’s okay! It adds to the glamor! My glamourous life! 😀 These are not the best photos ever, sigh, but there are a couple that I think are pretty nifty. Yes they’re grainy or the scans are noisy, idk, it is what it is. I love my Chaika! Whooo film! Whooo 1970s soviet cameras! #crappycommiecameraparty

More seriously, this expensive hobby, or art, or whatever it is, really does make me happy. I wish I had access to a darkroom so I could print them myself, but in the meantime, there’s lightroom and I have given up feeling guilty about using it. I love the half frame diptych, the randomness of it and the juxtapositions that make more than the whole of 2 photos. I hope you like them too!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged believeinfilm, blackandwhitefilm, chaika, dailylifethroughalens, filmphotography, half-frame, oregoncoast, photography | Leave a comment

Clams

Posted on May 31, 2026 by mygothlaundry

A blurry child runs by the square blue wall of a house — Sunday, May 24

A deer in a green yard seen through a rainy car window — Sunday, May 24

A friend asked me to go clamming this morning, but she wanted to leave at like 6:30 and while I am in fact usually awake at 6:30, I am not usually happy about it. So I gracefully declined and did not go clamming but she brought me clams anyway. This was lovely. I like clams. My brother, on the other hand, is afraid of them, partly because at some point in his life he internalized a gout diet directive that strictly forbade clams and partly because, I have no idea, but I suspect a horrifying story is involved. It is okay. I ate his clams.

I got my brother a cheeseburger and I made the first recipe from this pdf, kinda sorta, and ate it on french bread, and it was scarily delicious and also, I recognize that I might die. That is the thing with shellfish. You might die. There is no predicting it. My father used to tell a story about a friend of his who ate a bad oyster and that was it, cut down in the prime of life. I will probably have a panic attack later but right now, full of clams – I ate a lot of clams, y’all – I don’t much care. It was worth it. Still, DOOM!

Well, DOOM! CLAMS! Clams also mean money, or they did at one point like a hundred years ago. Not really in my lifetime, although in my childhood it came up often enough in ancient cartoons that we got the gist from context. And money is no longer worth what it was just, oh, like two months ago? Or something? I got paid on Friday and took myself to the gas station, where it cost me $75 to fill up my tank even though I had a discount from the grocery store. Then I bought a very few things from the natural grocery store – not, mind you, the fancy good natural grocery store, the chain one – and that was $50. For 2 dozen eggs, 6 gallons of water in containers I brought with me, soap and a piece of salmon jerky for me and Harvey to split in the car. Doom, doom, doom, doom I sang in the car. Doom! Doom dee da doo dah DOOM! I have several doom songs I sing these days. If you have a bleak enough sense of humor you will find that the word DOOM just lends itself to all kinds of songs. Just swap it in. As the country collapses and runaway inflation takes full hold, the DOOM song gets louder and louder and louder. I went to Costco today. I’m not even going to say how much that was, or comment on how things have gone up another dollar since last week but I will say, y’all. $10 for strawberries in May seems a bit steep for, I don’t know, most of the citizenry? Things are getting dire around here and strawberries are not on the menu. We already eat beans and rice two or three times a week. There is not much more we can do. Our bootstraps are breaking with a terrible plunk sound every time another bill comes due. It is kind of like the sound I think it might make when somebody builds a six flags looking arena wall of death thing on the fucking white house lawn. Plink, plank, plunk, this is the sound of doom or a boiling frog.

On to the photos and the news from last week! On Sunday Four was at my house, helping with the garden by making a waterfall with the hose on the steps. She managed not to get soaked, which was nice. I am slowly trying to reclaim my front yard garden even though it is really just a circle of mint, rosemary and tall tall grass now. On Monday, which was Memorial day, it rained and here’s a deer. I love photos with raindrops. On Tuesday another deer, this one at my work with the full glory of the Columbia* behind it. Yes, indeed we do have a lot of deer here. That would be why my garden consists of mint and rosemary. On Wednesday I only took one photo and this is it: Harvey on the other side of the airport trail. Thursday, I went to two openings. This is the 8×8 show at AVA, Astoria Visual Arts (note my sneaky selfie) and I have two pieces in it. It’s a benefit show and you should go buy something to support them because they are awesome. The second one was the student show up at the college, also well worth checking out. On Friday I went to work and then when I came home I watered my pathetic kitchen pothos. Saturday, in a beautiful illustration of the triumph of hope over experience, I finally got my four tomato plants into pots. I planted them with hope in my heart even though I have been trying for seven years to grow tomatoes in pots in my courtyard and pretty much failing. There is just not enough light and it’s too damn cold. I know this, but I’m still trying. Maybe this year will be different! I’m only doing cherry tomatoes and two of them are specifically Oregon cultivars.

* Four goes to a proper hippie school as all children should and they have learned this song, so now it plays in my head every time I say Columbia! Gods bless Woody he had his heart in the right place even if we nowadays do not celebrate dams so much. If he was alive he’d be helping tear them down too.

So, doom doom doom notwithstanding, let’s all hope we have a good week. I have an extremely scary medical test on Tuesday, so send me good thoughts and well wishes, internet people, I need them now. Love to you all!

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